So you’ve decided to have an engagement party. Here are some helpful tips and etiquette how-to’s to guide your party.
 
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- It can be as formal or informal as you like. Unlike other wedding elements, engagement parties are wide open. You can have a barbeque beach party or a formal dinner in an upscale restaurant.
- If one side of the family is more affluent than the other, try to choose a venue that levels the field a bit.
- Engagement parties are traditionally hosted by the bride’s parents but there is flexibility here. Depending on your family situation, the groom’s parents or another close family member can host the party.
- Unless you are making a surprise engagement announcement at the party, do not host your own party.
- Traditionally, invitations are not for an engagement party put for a party in honor of the bride and groom. However, more modern etiquette guides now recommend calling it an engagement party so that guests know exactly what they’re going to. If you’re making a surprise announcement, you may want to come up with some creative “excuse” for the party to enhance the surprise factor.
- Do not invite someone to the engagement party unless they will also be invited to the wedding.
- Part of the purpose of the engagement party is to give both sides of the families an opportunity to get to know each other better. Plan for this by playing games, mixing up the seating and putting out food stations that encourage people to mingle with each other.
- As part of the bonding family process, incorporate family traditions from both families – favorite games, family dishes or music.
- Usually the father of the bride toasts the couple. Do not lift your glass during the toast as you do not toast yourself. After the toast, you may take a sip.
- After the toast, the bride and groom usually thank the host and give a very brief speech about their love for their fiancé and upcoming wedding. As Christians, this is the ideal time for small scale witnessing by thanking God for bringing you together.
- If nobody has introduced everyone, the bride or groom would do this following their speech.
- The next day, send a thank you card and gift to the host.
Finally, gifts are not expected at an engagement party. If you do get any, open them in private so you don’t embarrass anyone who didn’t give a gift and send thank-you notes within two weeks.
