I am the most blessed woman on the face of the earth. That’s what I was thinking after Dave left the night he proposed. It doesn’t sound like the most romantic proposal but to me, it was. I was recuperating from surgery and lying on my couch feeling lousy when he came over, got down on one knee and said, “Elizabeth Rose Buss, will you marry me?” I started crying as he pulled a ring out of his pocket. Obviously, I said yes.
 
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He didn’t stay for long – like I said I was recuperating from surgery. After he left, I sat in my living room praising God for His goodness in sending me such an amazing man. I still thank Him every day for my husband.
The next day I started thinking about everyone I needed to tell. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops but since most of my family lives 200 miles away, they wouldn’t have heard me anyway so I refrained. When I did start telling people, I was careful about whom I told when. I wanted to make sure that the most important people heard it from me first. This is what wedding etiquette recommends as well. Before you start announcing your engagement, here are some principles to keep in mind.
- Make sure your parents have met your fiancé before you announce your engagement. If that means you need to keep the engagement secret for a month or two, that’s okay. I did not tell my dad about the engagement for over a month because he hadn’t met Dave yet. About halfway through their first meeting, my dad winked at me and nodded his head yes. I then knew I had his blessing and shared the good news shortly after that. My dad was thrilled.
- Don’t withhold your news from estranged family members. I know that some families can be very dysfunctional. Weddings are one of those times when families need to set aside their issues and rally behind the couple. That is the ideal but it doesn’t always happen. In light of this, if you don’t tell someone because of family strain, this will only make the situation worse. Coming from a dysfunctional family myself, I understand how difficult it can be. I had to call my two favorite uncles and tell them I couldn’t invite them to the wedding because of a division in my family. Because I was proactive, reassured them that I love them and I wasn’t slighting them, they both were very understanding and wished me the best. While those were two of the hardest phone calls I had to make, they were also two of the best. Our relationship remained intact when it could have been broken if I hadn’t been upfront with them.
- You help set the tone for the planning process and the wedding itself by how you handle announcing the engagement. When you show respect for everyone, you will earn their respect in return. Over the next several months, you will need to work with your family to put your wedding together. Lay a good foundation for that by handling the engagement announcement right.
- Realize that not everyone may be happy about your news. Prayerfully consider their objections. Often, God speaks through people and only prayer will reveal if there is substance to their words. If this union isn’t of the Lord, better to find out now. Once you know that this marriage is of the Lord, don’t let anyone steal your joy. Marriage brings about big changes to every family and friendship. Give those who object time to accept your new life.
Following these principles will help ensure that the rest of the wedding planning – and the wedding itself – be as smooth as possible. Your wedding is probably the biggest event you will ever plan. Treating it right from the start can make all the difference in the world.
