Six Steps for Announcing Your Engagement

I was so excited to tell everyone that I was marrying the man of my dreams.  But, I had to keep my excitement in check to do it right.  This was one of those times I was so thankful for my Christian growth that I was not led by my feelings, but by God’s spirit and will.  If I had told people in the wrong order or the wrong way, my wedding could have been a disaster instead of the blessed amazing event that it was.

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I wrote here about the principles that guide telling your family and friends that you’re getting married.  Etiquette also guides whom to tell when.  Here is the order you should follow when spreading your own good news:

1. Tell any children either one of you has first – especially if they will be living with you after the wedding.  If there is a fear they will spill the beans to your parents or grandparents, tell them all at the same time.
2. Next, tell your parents and grandparents. If possible, tell them in person.  Your children, parents and grandparents are the most important people you will tell.
3. Then tell your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins. Marriage affects every family member and relationship.  Don’t exclude any family member from this major event in your life.
4. Tell your friends only after you’ve told your family. As tempting as it is to call your best friend right away, if there is any chance at all that someone in your family will find out from her, don’t do it.  It’s just not worth the risk of the hurt feelings that would ensue.
5. The two sets of parents need to call each other.  Traditionally, the groom’s parents call the bride’s parents to welcome her to the family but times change and so do traditions.  Now, the important part is that one side contact the other – the sooner the better.
6. Finally, go out to dinner with both sets of parents, again, as soon as possible.  This dinner will break the ice and give everyone a chance to get to know each other.  Both families will be working together on your wedding.  It’s never too soon to lay a foundation of friendliness and cooperation.

Hopefully, everyone will be thrilled with your news and join you in basking in the wonder of promise of the love of a lifetime!