Today I am launching a series of articles on the spiritual preparation for marriage. I must admit I am quite nervous about parts of this. Some of the topics will seem strange on a bridal website because they aren’t just about flowers and golden dreams of two people with little hearts over their heads for the rest of their lives. That is the romantic version of love. Don’t get me wrong, there is some of that in marriage but marriage is so much more than romantic love.
 
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It is a covenant relationship between God, a man and a woman. What does that mean? And what is the woman’s role in that relationship? What are you, as a future wife, committing to? Weddings are beautiful celebrations and rites of passage from one life to another. Sometimes we can get so preoccupied with the beauty of the celebration itself that we lose the deeper meaning and purpose of the event. That is what I am hoping to bring to the forefront through this series.
To begin this series, I found a series of sermons on marriage called “The Wedding Ring.” The series was written by T. DeWitt Talmage and was originally published by The Christian Herald in 1896. Some of the references are antiquated but the principles contained are timeless and invaluable.
The first sermon is actually directed toward men and is called, “The Choice of a Wife.” It contains important nuggets about what makes a good wife. Prayerfully consider his points asking for God’s refinement in areas you need help with. I know that is hard – believe me I know. I cling to my sin for dear life at times. But the freedom and rich marriage that are the fruit of refinement is priceless.
“The Choice of a Wife”
“Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines?”–JUDGES 14:3.
Samson, the giant, is here asking consent of his father and mother to marriage with one whom they thought unfit for him. He was wise in asking their counsel, but not wise in rejecting it. Captivated with her looks, the big son wanted to marry a daughter of one of the hostile families, a deceitful, hypocritical, whining, and saturnine creature, who afterward made for him a world of trouble till she quit him forever. In my text his parents forbade the banns, practically saying: “When there are so many honest and beautiful maidens of your own country, are you so hard put to for a lifetime partner that you propose conjugality with this foreign flirt? Is there such a dearth of lilies in our Israelitish gardens that you must wear on your heart a Philistine thistle? Do you take a crabapple because there are no pomegranates? Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines?”
Excuseless was he for such a choice in a land and amid a race celebrated for female loveliness and moral worth, a land and a race of which self-denying Abigail, and heroic Deborah, and dazzling Miriam, and pious Esther, and glorious Ruth, and Mary, who hugged to her heart the blessed Lord, were only magnificent specimens. The midnight folded in their hair, the lakes of liquid beauty in their eye, the gracefulness of spring morning in their posture and gait, were only typical of the greater brilliance and glory of their soul. Likewise excuseless is any man in our time who makes lifelong alliance with any one who, because of her disposition, or heredity, or habits, or intellectual vanity, or moral twistification, may be said to be of the Philistines.
In our worldly culture, it seems strange that a beautiful woman would be called a crabapple. Yet because Delilah lacked the inner beauty and strength of character, that is exactly what she was. It is so easy to get caught up in the outer trappings of the world. Remember that our inner beauty is what is most important.
